Weakened teams - a final kick in the crotch?

Whatever transpires on ‘survival Sunday’ – as Sky have dubbed it – there can be no complaints. Should Hull stay up thanks to Manchester United fielding a team of youngsters or should Middlesbrough or Newcastle profit from playing sides with nothing to play for (West Ham and Aston Villa), there can be no objections. Of course there will be, but we should be dismissed with disdain.

Everyone hopes to avoid the antics of a few seasons ago when Neil Warnock whined and wailed about the injustice of Sheffield United being relegated (he is still going). The Carlos Tevez case apart, he had no case then and nor will Hull’s rivals should Phil Brown’s team turnover Manchester United (an eventuality that looks unlikely). Teams play fixtures as they come and they must play the league table as it comes as well. They are in the position that they deserve and will be at the final whistle. More than luck and more than external factors, their final standing will depend on their own qualities or inadequacies over the season.

Manchester United have earned the right as Premier League Champions to field a ‘weakened’ team ahead of the Champions League final against Barcelona, as Middlesbrough, Sunderland and Newcastle have failed to secure their place in the topflight next season. I hope Sir Alex Ferguson does not pander to the of and field a team based purely on his teams own interests than attempt to intervene in some kind of justice mission to temper the guilt of a few seasons ago – he should have none. (Quite why Sheffield United were doing watching the announcement of the Manchester United team to play West Ham when they should have been preparing for their own game needing just a draw I don’t know).

There is an argument that a team of ravenous youngster and fringe players fighting for a place in the starting XI and on the bench for the Champions League final would be a stronger team. Certainly some of the bigger players will be anxious of playing a full game three days before the biggest game of their lives (no one wants to be robbed of the Crisyiano Ronaldo v Lionel Messi showdown in Rome).

Come Monday morning there can be no complaints. The teams who have failed to justify their place in the English topflight will have been exposed and cut adrift. Any manager who begs to differ and wails at the ‘injustice’ of it all should be shunned into submission.

Final word on the weekend - Fear of future fuels Benitez’s bitterness

Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez refused to congratulate Sir Alex Ferguson on winning Manchester United’s 18th Premier League title this weekend. Many angry words have been exchanged between the rivals this season – more than previous rivals in previous years – and the feuding is set to continue into next season.

But it is not just the present or the past that fuels Benitez’s frustration. It is a fear and trepidation of the future.

If Benitez had had the stomach to sit through any of United’s celebrations at Old Trafford on Saturday afternoon he will have countered many emotions but one thing will have tortured him more than any other. United want more.

As Ferguson moved among his players after the final whistle there was plenty of back slapping and jubilation, but as the celebrations progressed their desire for further glory was evident. Their thirst for further titles was deepening with every touch of the trophy. The grins that adorned the faces of Rooney, Ronaldo and Ferdinand among others foretold further success.

Ferguson has accumulated a squad with the same insatiable appetite for glory that has driven his own career. But it is also a squad of huge talent and significant youth. With the likes of Danny Welbeck, the Da Silva brothers, Rooney, Jonny Evans and Federico Macheda United have a wealth of young talent to supplement any superstar signings Ferguson makes over the next few years. Even the potential loss of Cristiano Ronaldo appears manageable.

And to top it all of Ferguson shows no signs of relenting to the conventions of managerial life-spans. By surrounding himself by the likes of Rooney he is as sharp and determined as ever.

It is likely Benitez’s thoughts would have briefly swayed to next year’s title chase before Saturday’s coronation. He would have known United will have the quality and youth to retain their title once again next year. But what Saturday will have proved - and what is infuriating Benitez so much - is that the desire at Old Trafford is as ravenous as ever.

Final word on the weekend: Will Arsenal ever be good enough?

It is time for Arsenal to stop hiding behind the mask of ‘youth’.

Once again the consensus was that Arsenal lacked the experience as their season self-destructed with defeats to Manchester United in the Champions League semi final and Chelsea in the Premier League (a defeat that cost them a tilt at third place and automatic qualification for the group stages of the Champions League). The ability is not in doubt and there time will come was the prevailing view. But after four years without a trophy, will their time come? Are they really good enough?

There are undoubtedly world-class players in their dressing room, such as Cesc Fabregas, Gael Clichy and Andrey Arshavin. Then there are those will the potential to turn in world-class performances such as Samir Nasri, Emmanuel Adebayor, Robin Van Persie and Kolo Toure. And there is much potential in Theo Walcott and Carlos Vela.

However, what of the supporting cast? Yes they are young but will they ever be good enough – technically, mentally and physically - to win trophies at home and abroad against the toughest opposition. Will Alexandre Song ever match Mathieu Flamini’s industry in midfield? Will Abou Diaby ever be able to command the touch and authority of Patrick Vieira, will Adebayor ever sacrifice his ego? Will Nicklas Bendtner ever be able to control his flailing limbs sufficiently to compliment Arsenal’s slick attacking play?

There is an underlying suspicion that for all the potential of Arsene Wenger’s new class, they lack that extra bit of quality and ability.

And, of course, Arsenal are not without experience. Players such as Kolo Toure, Mikael Silvestre, Manuel Almunia, Adebayor and Arshavin are all players who can draw on events of the past to shape the future. But are Silvestre and Almunia good enough players to lead Arsenal to European Cups? The overwhelming suspicion is no.

With Manchester United, Liverpool and to a degree Chelsea constantly raising the bar, it will require more than the one or two experienced players Wenger is promising this summer for Arsenal to catch up with the pace-setters. Arsenal need an injection of quality as much as experience, especially in some key areas such as central defence, goalkeeper and defensive midfield.

It is time for Arsenal to stop hiding behind the excuse of youth.

Alan Shearer - The plight of the uncharismatic leader

Despite the dense stench of desperation emanating from the corridors of power at St James’ Park as Newcastle faced up to the prospect of Championship football next season, there seemed some reasoning behind the appointment of Alan Shearer as caretaker manager at the beginning of April. He was an injection of optimism required to lift them out of trouble. He was a figurehead for a wayward but talented team. He was a saviour in waiting.

However, Shearer’s return was not logical. It was inevitable. Sometimes a one can masquerade as the other.

And how it has all unraveled. Three games and one question remain for Newcastle. So what can the suited Shearer do to save them from relegation?

Shearer is no tactical grand master. Anyone who watched the BBC’s coverage of Euro 2008 will testify to that. Sitting next to Martin O’Neil on the pundit’s sofa, Shearer squirmed constantly. By the end of the tournament he was visibly fearful of his colleague’s persistent interjections and corrections. A seasoned football man though Shearer is, he appears no closer to solving the chalkboard equations. His recent experimentations with three at the back have proved as fruitless for him as it did for their previous high-profile employer Steve McClaren.

But such criticisms, of course, miss the point of the appointment. Shearer was recruited to galvanise the players, staff and supporters. His instruction was to inject confidence and pride. He was to win over the crowd who, in turn, he would lend to the players. He was to unite the fragmented club. He was recruited for his personality.

However such expectations are to misinterpret the Shearer phenomenon. The Shearer legend was created on the pitch through his predatory powers not through his uniting personality. His early experiments in team building and man-management have fallen short. His public backing of Michael Owen could have worked but has ended in a climb down and no doubt a number of the Newcastle squad were displeased with the air-time their new manager spent eulogising their team-mate. Shearer the player was never in question. Shearer the manager has many to answer.

Shearer’s legend was created in boots not suits, on the pitch rather than off it. Which begs the question: what can he offer Newcastle now?

For the majority of fans in the Premier League the season is over. Their teams are out of contention for the title, short of a tilt at Europe and safe from the threat of relegation. Their chants and jeers are largely redundant - save for some end of season frivolity.

So it is time to focus on the flip side of football support - taking pleasure in the suffering of rivals. Watching the seesawing drama of the final days from a safely detached perspective, and savouring the angst and neuroses of opponents, can be thrilling (whether it is blowing the title or succumbing to relegation).

It is an entirely legitimate and hugely rewarding pastime. Any uncomfortable feelings that they are slightly sadistic thoughts can be countered by the knowledge that the outcomes really don’t matter as much as the managers, players and supports protest. It is like being a neutral at a penalty shoot-out. The narratives and drama are clear and compelling.

And in those terms MANCHESTER UNITED 5 TOTTENHAM 2 was a great end of season game for all those fans with little watch for and requiring an outlet for their passion.

First there was the incredulity etched on Sir Alex Ferguson’s face as Tottenham raced into a 2-0 lead and United’s title credentials were again in question.

Then there were the remonstrations of Harry Redknapp at Howard Webb’s penalty award and Cristiano Ronaldo’s finish from the spot. An end-of-season thriller is not complete without a refereeing blunder that stirs up anger and embarrassment in equal measure.

United, and Rooney in particular, scented blood and played some inspiring and pulse-elevating stuff as Tottenham capitulated in fine comedic fashion.

The narrative was set and farce ensued. Comedic defending not seen since Djimi Traore’s own goal for Liverpool in a Carling Cup match, followed as Tottenham relinquished their lead with abandon.

There were goalkeeping errors, centre-back sins and general inadequacies to cheer any bored football fan. It was all topped off by further remonstrations and innuendo from Redknapp about the injustices of the Premier League.

There was less delight in the 2-0 defeat of Middlesbrough by Arsenal. May be that is because Middlesbrough are harder to hate than most.

But having said that, any football fan seeking some light entertainment on Monday night, should watch Newcastle v Portsmouth. There is plenty of joy to be had with Newcastle. With an inflated owner, jail-bird midfielder, ‘carry-on’ defending, mop-haired centre-backs, belief in Messiahs, and the conviction that they are the ‘chosen people’ - Is there a team with greater delusions of grandeur? Is there a team more ripe for ridicule?

Rafa or Fergie - Who is winning the mindless ‘mind games’?

So Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson and Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez have buried the hatchet – squarely between the shoulder blades in each other’s backs.

Psychological warfare, ‘mind games’, propaganda or just plain banter they are all in full flow as the season nears its conclusion.

THE DOSSIER

The propaganda machines at Anfield and Old Trafford cranked into life at the turn of the year. The press - the Don King promoter figure in it all - were summoned to Anfield where Benitez, in front of an anticipant audience, unveiled THE secret dossier on the injustices of recent times, the tyranny that Old Trafford holds over the regulating FA and the need to fight back against these heinous crimes. In translation it read: Man U are so mean, it is all unfair and by the way Ferguson is a little shite.

(Liverpool attempted to rock United and reassert their place at the top of the Premier League….)

THE RESPONSE

Ferguson laughed it off – how could he, an amiable OAP with a new-found lust for life, be capable of such things? The pressure is getting to Benitez and he is going mad, Ferguson intimated. The dossier was a sham, it had been ‘sexed up’ and it was all a conspiracy to unite the football community behind an out-and-out war on Old Trafford.

(Ferguson turns the emphasis back on Benitez, attempts to belittle him and his team and invokes the infamous ‘siege mentality’)

It is all too much for the delicate minds of the Liverpool players. They join Robbie Keane as basket-cases and go on a shocking run of results.

THE PEACE

A hiatus lasts for much of February and March as Liverpool’s title challenge falters. But fighting on five fronts, United take their eye off the ball – several times in Nemanja Vidic’s case – as United lose to Liverpool at Old Trafford and they let their rivals back into the race. Complacency appears to be entrenched in the United psyche as they follow defeat with defeat, this time against Fulham.

(Had Benitez been playing the long game, lulling them into a false security and confidence – could he claim a PSYCOLOGICAL VICTORY?)

Well the race was getting tighter and nerves were being stretched beyond their elastic limit.

FERGIE’S ATTACK

As Liverpool close the gap, Ferguson goes offensive. This time the fearleass Glaswegian bares his teeth, prepares for war and launches a ruthless attack on his rivals (manly staring down Rafa through a camera lens whilst hiding behind Sam Al(LARD)yce). Ferguson dismissed Benitez as arrogant - aka ‘Me, the great Alex Ferguson would not do such a thing’ - and says his sideline actions were ‘beyond contempt’ - aka ‘I like mind game as much as the next person but that was going too far’.

(Triumph - ‘Ferguson is scared’ or Ferguson attempts to unite teams against Benitez to ensure they ahve tough end of season games as well as riling the Spaniard and taking his eye-off game against Arsenal. He also proves he has way more friends than Benitez - he so has. Meanwhile, Benitez marvels at his sophistiction by introducing sign language to the war of words.)

RAFA’S RESPONSE

Benitez unleashes scouse attack dog Sammy Lee (probably a Terrier) to refute Ferguson’s “arrogant” calims (it is a job only worthy of a minnion and not the great Rafa Benitez). Besides Benitez has “business meetings” to attend, insists Lee before baring a note signed by a Mrs E Benitez.
Lee gives a stirring defence of his master. ‘Are you starting on my boss?’, ‘Mr Benitez, the all-conquering King of Anfield and all of Liverpool - as we affectionately call him - is certainly not arrogant’.

( Liverpool attempt to show it is Ferguson who is the deranged fantacist in this league. And wait, could Benitez be about to invoke the dreaded seige mentality?)

Meanwhile, Arsene Wenger watches on longingly. He can remember the times when he was on the end of Ferguson’s vile rants and innuendo. Where had those heady Spring days gone? How their special relationship has disappeared? Now Fergie only has eyes for Rafa.

As for Guus Hiddink, he is reassuringly Dutch about it all as he refuses to get involved in any confrontations.

Alas, Liverpool draw with Arsenal and the verbal jousting and mind controlling techniques are set to be shelved for the summer.

For all the bravado these are sensitive souls. And for all the hyper-babble it seems the poor, single brain-celled players are the biggest victims in this all. For pity sake, think of little Nemanja Vidic and Stevie G!

The Insider - Bullard faces up to Hull future

Hull City star Jimmy Bullard insists he will not walk out on the club if they are relegated from the Premier League.

The future of the club-record £5million signing has come under scrutiny with Hull in danger of being relegated from the topflight.

But Bullard admits he is going nowhere.

“I have a serious knee injury,” he said. “There is no chance of me walkig out of here. Believe me I have tried. I even tried crawling but Phil Brown caught up with me on the A64 and dragged me back to the KC stadium.

“I can hardly get out of bed in the morning. Have you seen Hull on a map? To the North is Scarbrough, to the South is Grimsby and to the East is Leeds - what kind of incentives are for a man with a serious knee injury? I cant risk that, I have a serious knee injury.

“I thought about taking a lylo to the North Sea but I could end up in Denmark or even drift down to Norwich. They are no places for former England squad member.

“No, I am not taking my chances with that, not with a serious knee injury."






* The contents of this post is entirely fictious.

The final word on the weekend - Goalkeepers falter in months of truth.

We have entered the months of truth. April and May are the most important months in English football. For all the posturing, for all the positioning and for all the points in the preceding games, the entire season comes down to these two months of truth. Relegations, promotions, finals and trophies are all decided here.

The pressure on teams is intense but the pressure on individuals is greater. And no more so than the goalkeepers. On Saturday, young Arsenal goalkeeper Lukasz Fabianski failed to keep his head in the swelter atmosphere of Wembley and an FA Cup semi final against Chelsea. The talented keeper lost his cool on countless occasions and was at fault for both of Chelsea’s goals from Florent Malouda and Didier Drogba.

Earlier in the week, Liverpool’s Pepe Reina and Chelsea’s Petr Cech both endured shockers in the Champions League quarterfinal. Two world-class keepers of proven ability and mind, wilted under the lights of the Champions League showdown. Their reputations dented, but not beyond repair thanks to the sharp shooting of their teammates.

The problem for goalkeepers is they exist in a constant state of negative equity. They are expected to make saves, they are obliged to make saves, and they must make saves. Any error can cost dear and is scrutinised without sympathy. The perception is goalkeepers lose games, strikers win games.

Their one salvation comes in the penalty shoot-outs. Here the roles are reversed. The onus reverts to the ball striker. The goalkeeper is suddenly in the privileged position where all responsibility is absolved. Make the save and they are the heroes don’t make the save and there are no recriminations or slander.

But to reach these moments of role reversal and are justice, they must negotiate a perilous path.

You're fired - Southgate takes on Sugar...

In a generic boardroom on the 552nd floor of an undisclosed skyscraper somewhere in central London, Middlesbrough manager Gareth Southgate takes a seat and awaits his fate and Sir Alan Sugar.

Sir Alan Sugar: Good afternoon Mr Southgate. Take a seat.

Gareth Southgate: Yes, Sir Alan. Thank you Sir Alan.

SAS: Right, lets cut the post-match interview crap. I don’t want to hear about ‘the next game’, ‘must-wins’, ‘battling to the end’, ‘strong spirits’ or whatever else you fob off those parrot journalists with. You all know why you are here. You’re failing Gareth. You’re failing spectacularly.

GS: Yes Sir Alan. I’m so sorry Sir Alan. I…

SAS: Gareth, I have a problem here. I like you. You’re a decent bloke. You’re popular with the players and the pundits. You’re loyal, you’re honest, you’re young and you’re keen to learn. Wonderful! Ain’t that all lovely, ain’t that all sweet. May be after this we can have a kick about in the park, you can bring along the Neville brothers, we can play penalties - ay - and we’ll all eat ice cream?

GS: Yeah. Although, Gary might be having his hair styled again and Phil is probably redecorating his house.

SAS: Gareth, I don’t eat ice cream you prick! And the Neville brothers are no more entertaining than the Chuckle brothers. Yes, you’re young but I don’t want potential. I want results…and NOW!

GS: Yes Sir Alan. I am so, so sorry. If you give me another chance, I will do better. But I am only young and I will improve and I… I…

SAS: Yeah ok Southgate stop sniveling…. Oh don’t cry Southgate…. Will someone give him a tissue, its like bleeding Euro 96 all over again in here.

SG: Thanks Margret. (brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh) (brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh).

SAS: Bleeding hell Southgate. That nose of yours is louder than the QE2. Hang on, is that a bogey on my Armani suit? If only your strikers displayed such power and potency from five yards. No the reason you’re in here is because you’ve made some piss poor acquisitions. You’ve bought badly. You’ve invested in sub-prime stock and we can all see the consequences.
Alfonso Alves – what was tat about? The quality is just no there. You’ve recruited badly – and you have to take responsibility for that.

GS: But..

SAS: No. You’re done talking. I haven’t been able to get a word in at all. Now let’s get down to the numbers. The bottom line. You’re team is the red. You’re two points from safety with six games to go. It is not looking good is it? You’ve got tough games to come and scored just 25 goals this season – the worst of all your competitors. I don’t like your chances.

GS: Yes Sir Alan.

SAS: That is why, with regret, I have to say Southgate you’re fired. Go on piss off. Go make a pizza advert. That nose of yours could with being housed in a brown paper bag for the good of all those Armani suits out there.



* The contents of this post is entirely fictious and composed by a man with an unstable personality and a hour to kill before Neighbours starts.

Final word on the weekend - Torres and Macheda take charge.

It is at this stage of the season when the value of individuals becomes tangible. With six games left – seven for Manchester United – and the Premier League title increasingly at stake, tension and neuroses can rule the day and wreak havoc on the hopes of players, coaches and fans.

In such circumstances it is difficult for a team to function to its maximum, for each element to reproduce its best. And so the emphasis often switches to those individuals capable of match and season defining interventions.

In the early Premier League kick off on Saturday, Fernando Torres scored a majestic double to maintain Liverpool’s distant hopes of a first league title in 19 years. They went on to beat Blackburn 4-0, but it was the Spanish striker’s exquisite improvisation and finishing that did for their opponents. The two late goals merely garnish.

In the late kick off, Manchester United needed to respond. And 15 minutes from lights out, lightning struck for the second time this week. Federico Macheda deflected Michael Carrick’s into the Sunderland net and Manchester United resumed their advantage in the title race. Head to head comparisons between Torres and Macheda would be wrong. One is the most complete striker in the world; the other is a rookie with unknown potential. But both have made crucial interventions in recent weeks and who would bet against them doing it again?

However, for all Torres’ unyielding quality, United remain favourites for the title. With their only other world-class attacking player, Steven Gerrard, struggling with injury, Liverpool will be over-reliant on Torres while United can look to Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, Dimitar Berbatov, Carlos Tevez and Ryan Giggs. Untied are not just favourites because of their numerical advantage, it is because at this stage of the season it is often the individuals that make the difference.

The Insider: FA launch referee protection scheme

Following the recent spate of coin throwing attacks at football grounds around the country, the FA have announced that referees will be issued with crash helmets for the remainder of the season.

Directives from the FA will require all Premier League officials to wear the protective head gear at all times from entering the vicinity of the stadium to departing.

It is hoped that this new £10 billion initiative could prevent numerous bumps and cuts as a the helmets protect referees from incoming objects and thus preserve their irreproachable decision making ability as well as enhancing their on-field authority.

The FA fear that the economic meltdown and depreciation in the Pound could lead to an avalanche of monetary missiles coming from the crowd as fans opt to hurl money rather than valuable werthers originals.

They stressed the problem is particularly acute as many of their referees are severely folically challenged.

Not only is this depriving them of an invaluable 'cushioning' layer but it is also thought to goad fans into targeting their gleaming white domes - especially with the increasing amount of reflected sunshine during the spring months.

The helmets have been extensively tested at McLaren's secret headquaters with positive results.

Tests involved a number of topflight refeeres, including Mike Riley and Dermot Gallagher, being fired from a cannon through a wind tunnel and into a reinforced concrete wall as reserachers attempted to assertain aerodynamics of the equipment.

The FA were pleased with it's performance and believe the referees will retain their express straight-line speed.

One spokesman, in a thick Glaswegian accent described the tests as "deeply satisfying".

But the Scot, chewing gum with all the elegance of an industrial washing machine, added he would not rest until 100s of referees had been catapulted into walls in order to assertain the true efficacy of the equipment".

Officials will also be given the option of wearing helmets fitted with visors to protect them from players expressing their views with a wet palette and enthusiastic pronounciation.

Though the wind-screen wiping system requires further tests.

The designers have other complications to resolve as the helmet currently block out a noise and allow a limited field of vision but officials are unconcerned about such trivialities.

The FA are considering further requests of quad bikes and stun guns, while controversial referee Stuart Attwell has demanded arm bands and long trousers for the winter season.



*Please note the content of this blog is entire fiction.

The final word on the weekend - Macheda' magic and Shearer's troubles

On Saturday night, as he waited for sleep to come, a little-known 17-year-old will have run through all the possibilities of the next 24 hours. He will have thought of playing football, scoring spectacular goals and hearing his name praised by tens of thousands of people. He will have carefully constructed the most fanciful of scenarios and dreamt up the most extravagant details in his mind. And then with a smile, dismissed it all.

If sleep ever came to Federico Machedo on Sunday night, it will have been brief. The young Italian, without a name in football, scored a wondrous injury-time winner against Aston Villa in front of an Old Trafford crowd of 75,409, ensuring Manchester United retained pole position for the Premier League title with what could be the most decisive moment.

Where his career goes from here is anybody’s guess. His late, late shot at glory was preceded by some heavy touches and muddled thinking, but he has attributes of great strength, form in the reserves and so much time. In years to come his debut heroics could be looked back upon as an extraordinary peak to a career drowned out by unenviable expectation or the first evidence of a precocious talent. Either way for now Machedo will just be thinking of the next 24 hours.

Elsewhere in the Premier League, it took 56 minutes for Alan Shearer’s halo to slip as Newcastle lost to Chelsea. Such has been the clamour from fans for Shearer return as manager to his former club, when owner Mike Ashley and the man himself finally relented to the fans’ wishes last week, the appointment smacked of a long-term union. Despite Shearer’s repetitive assertions that it was an arrangement of eight games only, the talk was of next season. But defeat to Chelsea will have reinforced to the fans, pundits, players and staff the precariousness of the club’s position and severity of the moment. This was an attempted bail out in the most desperate of situations. Seven games and counting…

Ledley King - the exception or the rule?

As if Ledley King were not fragile enough, this week Fabio Capello and Harry Redknapp have fought a ferocious tug-of-war over the injury-prone defender. It is the familiar dispute of club loyalty against national pride. But what is most remarkable about this row is that King can play at all.

By Redknapp’s admission the players doesn’t train at all in preparation for a game and doesn’t train at all in recovery from a game. He is simply wheeled out onto the pitch – especially when times are most desperate – and then stretchered off when the time is right.

It goes against all coaching discourse about preparing for peak performance. How can a player be physically fit enough for 90 minutes? Mentally ready for ? and tactically in tune to the practices of his team and nuances of their opponents? Surley the chalkboard is insufficient preparation for elite football whether it be at international level or in the Premier League.

So either King is a freak of nature with awesome physical attributes in spite of his fragile limbs or is football far simpler than we buy into? Despite the rhetoric, the montages and the cash fuelled hyperbole, could football really be quite a basic game out over 90 minutes demanding though it is played?

Final word on the weekend - Ashley and Kinnear the miracle men of Newcastle

While all eyes trained on Craven Cottage where Fulham beat Manchester United or Anfield where Liverpool trounced Aston Villa, Newcastle United slipped almost anonymously into the bottom three with eight games remaining following defeat to Arsenal.

A whiff of Championship football next season has been in the air circulating St James’ Park for a while now but is fast becoming a lingering stench. Such a situation would have been unimaginable to Newcastle fans at the start of the season. But now it is a reality they have accepted.

In the space of seven months, Mike Ashley and Joe Kinnear have achieved something none of their predecessor could. They have quelled the expectations of the fans. They have transformed the fans from potent protestors, demanding the best, into beggars, pleading for mercy. They have run the club down so far that survival would be an achievement, a great achievement.

Mid-table anonymity was not enough to save Glenn Roeder, Graeme Souness or Sam Allardyce mainly because it left them without an identity and a without a purpose. What the fans want most of all is a fight, a struggle, an enemy to unite and rally against. During the Keegan era it was Manchester United, now it is Stoke and Middlesbrough.

Final word on the weekend: Liverpool's result not so shocking

The result was a truly shocking: Manchester United 1 Liverpool 4. The events were even more shocking: Liverpool comeback from a goal down at Old Trafford to hit four past the best defence in the league with the player of the season (Nemanja Vidic) rendered a nervous wreck before seeing red. And yet it should have come as no surprise.

This is a Liverpool team capable of the incredible one-off results - take the 4-0 defeat of Real Madrid as corroborative evidence. With two truly world-class operators in Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres, backed by a gang of able and efficient support staff, Liverpool have a team capable of overturning anyone on any day. But not everyone on everyday.

Inconsistency has blighted their season and it is by no accident. Two world-class players can sustain a cup run, such as in Europe, but they cannot shoulder a 38-game push for the title. In Europe, an able squad can negotiate the early rounds with the latter stages overcome with a touch of class from Gerrard or Torres. However, with injuries, suspensions and lulls in form, two players cannot be relied upon to generate results season round in a league scenario. It is why Manchester United will win the league; they have five or six players who will earn their share of points throughout the season with late goals and decisive interventions. Liverpool do not have enough resources to be consistent.

As for the game, the margin of victory masked the evenness of exchanges. Both side’s had their periods of ascendancy, particularly United in the opening quarter and Liverpool in the closing quarter, and with any top-class encounter of this level, inches given resulted in miles taken. Ultimately three individual errors had a hefty price for United. Nemanja Vidic and Patrice Evra were the gift givers, Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres the ruthless recipients.

Saturday’s result is likely to be revealed as the most hollow of trumpeted victories.

Elsewhere the weekend’s action remained loyal to the theme of prolonging the angst and intrigue of the season. Once again the teams in lower reaches failed to take decisive steps towards survival, except Tottenham winning 2-1 at Aston Villa. Middlesbrough drew with Portsmouth, Hull drew Newcastle, Sunderland lost to Wigan, Stoke lost to Everton, Blackburn lost to Arsenal and Bolton lost 3-1 to Fulham.

The nine teams, from Tottenham down, all reek of fear and remain highly vulnerable to the end of season flush. Their focuses are now firmly locked on scrapping for survival, paralysed by fear they can’t help but look down making a dramatic surge up the standing unlikely. With ten games remaining for most, it looks as though relegation will be determined by who does worst rather than who does best.

Manchester United v Liverpool - The weekend's big one

Manchester United v Liverpool
Barclays Premier League
Old Trafford, Saturday 14 March 12.45pm

Wayne Rooney claims that Manchester United can end Liverpool’s ailing title ambitions by 3pm on Saturday afternoon. He maybe lighting on the pitch, but Rooney is not the quickest. Liverpool’s hopes of being confirmed as the best team in England since 1990 fell by the waste side along time ago (that is if they ever really existed). That is harsh on Rooney but not on Liverpool.
Despite the insignificance of the contest – no one really believes a Liverpool victory would result in a United capitulation – the pride and egos on display on the pitch, in the dugout and the stands should ensure a compelling confrontation.


The Bosses:
Rafa Benitez - While he continues to be a mastermind of one-off tactical skirmishes in Europe, Benitez continues to be exposed in the drawn out race for the Championship. The two images of Benitez could not be more different: The neurotic fool at home, brave pioneer abroad.

Sir Alex Ferguson – Despite his aging years, Ferguson – unlike Benitez - seems to be improving at a rapid pace as a coach and manager. His failings in Europe, which for so long threatened to overshadow his legacy, are being erased with such efficiency and elegance.


The Key Players:
Rio Ferdinand - With Ferguson’s rotation policy increasing its turnover, a number of United players will be desperate to step up. However against the threats of Gerrard and Fernando Torres, their defence will have to be as solid as it has been all season. Fitness permitted Rio Ferdinand will have a is decisive role in shutting out Torres.

Steven Gerrard – Gerrard is like a flash grenade. He does not dictate the game with his passing like a Xavi (Barcelona), rather he hits you square between the eyes with his surging running and long-range shooting from nothing. Bang and he is gone.


The Tactics:
Despite the form of Ryan Giggs and Michael Carrick this season, there remains a suspicion that Untied can be dominated and bullied in central midfield. Inter Milan achieved this in the second half at Old Trafford and Chelsea have been masters of it in recent years.

With an accomplished midfield trio of Steven Gerrard, Javier Mascherano and Xavi Alonso, Liverpool will play tight in midfield and attempt take control of the game and their Premier League destiny. Despite being at Old Trafford, victory is essential. From that foothold in the game they will hope one of their match-winners – Gerrard and Torres – can do something special.
With little threat coming from the flanks – except perhaps Ryan Babbel – and the majority of play coming through the centre, Ferguson could field the competitive Darren Fletcher to keep an eye out for Gerrard’s surging runs.

Victory is not essential for United, but Ferguson knows they are at their best when going forward. Cristiano Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney will target the sometimes immobile Liverpool back four by drifting into the centre as much as possible and using their trickery. Carlos Tevez could also have an important role with his unpredictable movement and positioning. With Jamie Carragher marshalling the skies above the Liverpool defence, United will have little effect with an aerial bombardment.


The Result:
With so many match-winners on the field this could go either way. Home advantage, momentum and class give United the edge, desperation gives Liverpool a chance. A late gerrard equalizer gives each a point. 1-1.

Is English dominance dulling the Champions League?

Midway through the last-16 round, English sides look set to dominate the latter stages of the Champions League once again this season. Liverpool and Chelsea are through while Manchester United and Arsenal are on the brink of qualification. English clubs, therefore, will in all probability account for half of the teams in the quarter-finals. Again it is already looking like an all-English final.

After the final in Moscow last year and Turin this, it appears we already have the ‘39th game’. But it is not looking that special. The European night is losing its appeal. What is the difference between a Super Sunday and a Super Wednesday?

Anyone watching Chelsea against Juventus in the Stadio Olimpico on Tuesday night will testify that the drama is still there. But it takes more than great drama to make a great knockout competition, as the FA Cup has discovered in recent years, it also requires quality. And at present the quality is rarified and confined.

That Juventus played better than many expected in the first half against Chelsea, reveals more about our estimations of their current standing and any European resurgence. Their best players, Pavel Nedved, David Trezeguet, and Alessandro Del Piero, remain from a decade ago.

But the result that must have brought to a singe of disappointment to every football fan in Europe, apart from Liverpool’s faithful, was the one at Anfield. The once shimmering white shirts of Real Madrid were sullied by Liverpool’s 4-0 demolition on Tuesday night.

Over the years the European Cup and latterly the Champions League has thrived on an elitism that has thrown together the best sides on the continent. Currently they are all English. While this is positive for the English game, it the European game seems that much poorer at present.

The final word on the weekend - Is Tevez the Tasmanian Devil and Eduardo's left ankle

Manchester United’s quest for the quintuple remains firmly on track thanks to the Tasmanian Devil -aka Carlos Tevez.

The Argentinean scored twice as United sauntered into the semi-finals of the FA Cup with a 4-0 win over Fulham at Craven Cottage. It was a typically ravaging display from Tevez, who not only looks like the famous cartoon character, “Taz”, but acts in on the pitch.

A being possessed, Tevez tears around the field to a devastating effect prompted by his ravenous appetite. But more than his work rate and desire, it is the unpredictability of Tevez that defines him as a player. It both helps and hinders him.

Like Wayne Rooney he has so many strengths and such willingness to adapt that he becomes difficult to define for opponents and colleagues alike. His ravenous nature means during a game he will drop deep, he will drift wide, he score goals, he will make goals, and he go up top. What is more is that he has the ability to hurt opponents from almost all positions – as demonstrated by his wonderful curling effort on Saturday. Such unpredictability as to when and where this whirlwind will strikes causes havoc for defences.

But that unpredictability is also the reason why he has become a habitual bench warmer at Old Trafford. While Dimitar Berbatov has a specific role in the United side – the pole which his team-mates can dance around – Tevez’s remit is less defined. Sir Alex Ferguson does not want to cage him to a specific role and his attributes do not lend him to such straightjacket restraints. It means he is more difficult to fit into a game-plan and a style of play.

It is, of course, the nature of the beast.

Elsewhere, it may have taken a year but Eduardo’s left ankle is back. Last February it was shattered, some said beyond repair, but on Sunday it fired Arsenal into the quarter-finals of the FA Cup with a sublime finish on the volley. Burnley, the victims on this occasion, will surely be demanding that the Brazilian-born Croatia is put under the knife once again to determine whether any high-class military technology or titanium plating was used in the reconstruction of Eduardo’s left ankle. They are unlikely to find anything un-toward, except of course some compelling Brazilian genes.

As for Middlesbrough, beaten 2-1 by Everton, it is a question of whether of defeat in the FA Cup will bring a crippling end to their momentum as they fight against relegation or whether it will allow them to focus on Premier League survival. But does either way does it matter – the real question is whether they are good enough to stay up?

In the other FA Cup clash of the weekend Coventry showed Chelsea the kind of benevolence they have been praying for all season.

The weekend's big one: Fulham v Man U

Fulham v Man U
FA Cup
Saturday, March 7, KO 5.15pm.

Manchester United's bid for an unprecedented quintuple continues at Craven Cottage late in the afternoon on Saturday.
In terms of footballing ability, United have proven over the last few months that they are unrivalled in England and potentially - Barcelona aside - in Europe also, making the fanciful task of claiming the FA Cup, Premier League and Champions League before the end of the season appear somewhat loigcial.
But after the frighteners served up against Newcastle at St. James' Park, Ferguson is well aware that is it not the necessarily the difficulty of the terrain they must overcome but the length of the journey and the potential to be ambushed by bad luck.


The bosses:

Roy Hodgson - Composed, understated ad highly effective. When the final verdicts are in on the season, Hodgson will be rightly praised for his work in stabilising and drivig Fulham forward.

Sir Alex Ferguson - At present, Ferguson is the priveleged position of down playing hype whilst basking in the knowledge that it is entirely merited. His reputation as the pre-eminent managerial force in the Premier League is once again absolute.


Key Players:

Brede Hangeland (Fulham) - The Norweigan centre-back, the keystone around which Fulham have built a formidable defensive wall, has put the January transfer speculation behind him and is in top form. But he and his colleagues will be tested to the maximum against the Unted's unpredictable attacking force.

Michael Carrick (Man U) - For many people, Carrick is United's most improved player this season. he has finally developed the influence his imaginative and accurate passing has suggested is possible. United's slick football relies on the mdfielder finding his rythum.


The tactics:

Fulham may have an imposing record at home htis season, especially in defence but United will come to attack and to win this one with maximum efficiency. But Fulham, with Danny Murphy at the hub also like to play the game on the ground.
Therefore the midfield clash will be key between him and Michael Carrick will be key with the winner doing most damage, not in the tackle but in the quality of passing. the clash in mdifield between Danny Murphy and Michael Carrick could be decisive in which side hits their stride most effectively.
If United hit their strike the raidings from all over, deep and wide, could be too much for Fulham's otherwise secure backline.

Prediction
Fulham wil fight hard to keep the Cup dream still kicking but expect a smoother United performance than against Newcastle and expect them to prevail.
Fulham 0 Manchester United 2

This is the closest Premier League title race for years and also the most decisive. Not only is the destination of this season’s title at stake but potentially the destination of many more as Liverpool, Chelsea and Manchester United battle it out to be the pre-eminent force in English football.

It is no coincidence leagues are dominated one club over a period of time - perpetuated by ability, wealth, momentum and fear. But at present there is a vacuum of power at the top of the Premier League. English football is in a transitionary phase with Liverpool, Chelsea, Manchester United and Arsenal all uncertain of their current status.

They all have the ability, they all - to an extent - have the wealth, but crucially no team has a monopoly on fear. For the past few seasons any of the top four have had the capabilities of beating anyone else in the top four and this has filtered down the league to the point where even the promoted clubs believe they can upset the leaders. The likes of Stoke and West Brom now eye wins against the big teams rather than rolling over and pleading for mercy.

When one team assumes the status of being feared by the entirety of the league, not only have they proved themselves to be a good team but they ensure the passage to the next title is infinitely easier.

Manchester United dominated during the 90s, Arsenal were the team after the turn of the millennia and Chelsea, bankrolled by Abramovich, were the most recent dominators. Now they, plus Liverpool, are vying to be the next dynasty team.
Liverpool have not dominated since the 80s. Arsenal’s empire crumbled at Old Trafford a few years ago when a 2-0 defeat ended their 49-game unbeaten run and obliterated the self-confidence. This was confirmed by Arsene Wenger’s reaction to their FA Cup triumph a few years ago when he vowed never to win ugly again.

Many believe Chelsea’s demise coincided with the arrival of Luiz Felipe Scolari or Avram Grant. The truth is Chelsea are still reeling from the summer of 2008. It was Jose Mourinho, not Grant nor Scolari, that oversaw the beginning of the end of Abramovich’s revolution.

Mourinho’s success was based on a pragmatic platform spiced up by the cutting edge of Damien Duff, Arjen Robben and Joe Cole. The replacement of Robben with Florent Malouda failed and Chelsea retreated into a conservatism that was inconducive with winning the league. Scolari has attempted to reverse this but - after missing out on Robinho - it has taken longer than many thought.

Manchester United are closest to filling the void vacated by Chelsea. Though crackling with attacking possibilities, they are yet to attain the aura they enjoyed when Roy Keane was in command. But if - as many expect - United prevail this season they could be set for another period of sustained success.

That is until Sir Alex Ferguson leaves.

The Final Word on the weekend

The Final Word

Arsenal
The success of Samir Nasri’s Arsenal career could be defined in the coming months. A bold statement but with Cesc Fabregas injured for a further few months, Nasri’s creativity and scoring touch from midfield will be decisive in Arsenal’s push for Champions League football. The Frenchman, who started the season so brightly, scored on Saturday and must now consistently impose himself on Arsenal’s season.

Aston Villa
The question is will Ashley Young’s dismissal derail Villa’s surge towards the top four. They will certainly miss his pace, goals and assists and crucially absence could place too much pressure on Gabriel Agbonlahor.

Blackburn
Hard, direct and damned effective: this is football Sam Allardyce style. Blackburn has never been as pretentious to claim they only value `beautiful football` unlike one of Allardyce’s most recent clubs and Saturday’s opponents. The question is who are the happier?

Bolton
If Bolton successfully avoid the trap door this season they will have Jussi Jaaskelainen to thank. The goalkeeper may not have been able to save them on Saturday but by the end of the campaign he will no doubt done enough to save them.

Chelsea
The relief was evident as Frank Lampard led a swarm of Chelsea players racing to the touchline to celebrate with boss Felipe Luiz Scolari. But possible more defining in Chelsea’s season is the injury to Joe Cole. Chelsea are desperately short on width and creativity at present and Cole, at his best, can bring both. Is this the time for Miroslav Stoch.

Fulham
For such a consistent and disciplined defence, Fulham’s back four had an erratic day which was exemplified by Paul Konchesky. The left-back hit a stunning long-range drive before cutting down Carlton Cole, for which he should have been sent off, to give away a stupid penalty.

Hull
Their slide down the league is gathering a queasy momentum that could see them drop out of the top 10 soon. But they have garnered sufficient belief and nous over the past five months to see them through.

Manchester City
There is only one name to be heard at the Eastlands at present and no it is not Pablo Zabaleta - who scored the winner against Wigan. However the Argentine illustrated an important point: it will be the men around Kaka that will define the £100million man`s success as much as the player himself..

Manchester United
That which seemed inevitable for months has finally happened. United have hit the top and despite his indifferent demeanor Dimitar Berbatov is looking priceless.

Middlesbrough
Could chairman Steve Gibson, `the merciful`, even be forced to wield the axe? The guardian angel of beleaguered Boro bosses may have to fire Gareth Southgate should Middlesbrough continue their fall towards the bottom and the Championship.

Newcastle
Can Joe Kinnear open his month without spitting vile abuse at anyone in his presence? He was amazingly fortunate to have got the job and even more so to keep it so long. His continued presence only signifies the depths to which Newcastle’s expectations have plunged.

Portsmouth
Sol Campbell looked fearful of the potential stream of abuse awaiting him as the teams lined up in the tunnel ready to emerge onto the pitch, but for the majority of the game he showed none of it. A mighty response from the former Tottenham defender.

Stoke
So the creator turns the finisher. Rory Delap, so often the tormentor, took advantage of some atrocious Chelsea defending to slot home to prove he is much more than a human catapult. Though it was not enough for the draw, Stoke face bigger games ahead.

Sunderland
Life after Roy Keane is not necessarily rosier as you’d expect. May be Sunderland should have waited a little longer to give the reigns to Ricky Sbragia on a full time basis.

Tottenham
Spurs can surely claim to have the most wasteful strike line in the Premiership. They missed a sack load and more. Darren Bent was the simplest chance but Jermain Defoe and Roman Pavlyuchenko also fall into the category of less than efficient forwards.

West Brom
They were beginning to take root, but West Brom are off the bottom of the Premier League table. A crucial psycological barrier overcome or a temporary window full of false hope? Almost certainly the latter.

West Ham
A 3-1 win over Fulham proved that there is plenty of talent in the squad beyond Craig Bellamy. They must snap Mark Hughes’ arm off if he offers the rumoured £14million for the Welshman who has only started to play in recent weeks when the transfer window came into sight.

Wigan
In the summer Wigan manager Steve Bruce look back on Amir Zaki’s horrendous miss and thank his lucky stars. The Egyptian headed over when scoring seemed infinitely easier but it should help Zaki stays off the radar during transfer window and give Bruce a decent shout at signing the striker in the summer.

January sales: 5 of the best and 5 of the worst

Despite the unnicersal tightening of belts, the threat of relegation and Man City's billions mean the should be plenty of activity in the transfer market this January. Here we look at the best and worst of the potential buys....

Best buys:

1. Michael Owen - Despite the statements to the contrary, Owen is desperate to end his turmoil with the Toon. And why wouldn't he be. The thing is a sale now could make sense for Newcastle, assuming they will avoid the drop without him, as the striker is certain to be off in the summer.

2. Amr Zaki - The attributes are obvious and a drop in form, induced by a period of injuries, will have lowered the price a touch and means a reasonable bid could scrape under the radar.

3. Marcos Senna - The Villarreal and Spain midfielder is available and still has much to offer. The 32-year-old's experience and grit mean there should be no shortage of suitors. Perfect stop gap for Arsenal or Manchester City.

4. Roque Santa Cruz - The ties have been mended in order to pave the way for a transfer to be done without anyone losing face or cash. Man City's interest could force a prohibitive price but he remains a top striker with an average team.

5. Mathew Upson - Over the past few seasons the West Ham defender has confirmed his quality and with West Ham a selling club once again expect him to be in demand. The figures (£15million) maybe highly fanciful but a more measure price should be agreed although he may have to wait for the summer.

Worst buys:

1. Craig Bellamy - Will he never learn, will they never learn. Decent player but by no means special enough to justify the grim excess baggage especially if you are the richest club in the world.

2. Adriano - Problems off hte pitch and poor form on it at Inter Milan mean the Brazilian is available and looking for a move but they also mean he is a gamble of Russian roulette proportions.

3. Joey Barton - Reportedly Tony Adams is willing to give the disgraced Newcastle midfielder a sporting chance at Pompey. If he does, Adams will be stepping into a whole new hell.

4. Emie Heskey - The Wigan striker is the ultimate fashion accessory. Heskey seasonally goes in and out of fashion but the fact remains he is a striker that does not score goals. Sure goals aren't everything but they are definitely something and to have a striker under no obligation to hit the net is ridiculous. Has already proved he cannot cut it at the top.

5. Andrei Arshavin - A strange choice perhaps. But if Arsene Wenger believes the Russian forward can transform Arsenal's season, he is distressingly deluded. A transfer would be an overpriced puchase of a yet to be proven player.

The weekend’s big one: Hull v Newcastle

Hull v Newcastle
Saturday 3, January 3pm

In one of only two FA Cup third round ties between Premier League sides, Newcastle and Hull go in search for some solace from their trials in the league.
Heavy defeats in recent weeks means both sides are as much looking for an up turn in form to ensure Premier League survival as they are eyeing Wembley glory.

The bosses:
Phil Brown - The festive season may have little good news for the Hull boss, but he and Hull remains the story of the season.
Joe Kinnear - The real works starts now for Kinnear. With the club no longer for sale and robbed of the siege mentality that has thus far defined Kinnear’s regime, the next few months will inform whether he has what it takes to guide Newcastle up the table with a more long-term plan

Team News
Hull - Craig Fagan could make his first start for four months and Phil Brown could shuffle his pack with the league remaining his primary target.
Newcastle - Fitness doubts persist over Jose Enrique, Nicky Butt and Shola Ameobi with Habib Beye, Mark Viduka, Obafemi Martins, Joey Barton and Claudio Cacapa all facing prolonged periods on the sidelines.

Key Players
Hull - Despite scoring an own goal last time out against Aston Villa and a torrid run of form, Kamil Zayatte remains a central component to Hull’s defence and if he can regain his early season form he could help keep Newcastle’s frontline quiet.
Newcastle - Michael Owen has cut a disconsolate figure on Tyneside for the last few seasons and that will not change soon, but at least the former Liverpool striker is in the goals again and he is vital to Newcastle's chances.

Prediction
A late goal from Michael Owen rescues a replay for Newcastle, although it is one that neither side wanted. 1-1